When I was 17 years old and entering my senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I broke up. He was heading away to college three hours away, opening himself up to a whole new world with new friendships to be forged. I was going to be making some big life decisions myself while enjoying the last year of public high school.
We wanted to give each other freedom to enjoy life, be ourselves, and be open to the people and things that God might bring our way.
So, I stood on my porch crying as we said goodbye. Neither one of us wanted to break up, but we felt it was the responsible thing to do.
It was heart breaking.
Yet sometimes separations need to happen. Sometimes we need to make the hard choices to give something up so that we are open to what God has ahead. We can’t keep piling thing on top of thing so we are so busy we can no longer hear the One Voice that matters.
And to that end, I feel that God is asking me to suspend my blogging. I don’t know for how long, or to what end. I just know that He is asked me to throw everything ministry related in my life up in the air so I can gain clarity. Whatever He gives back (if anything), I will do wholeheartedly, but I need a clean slate.
It’s heartbreaking for me.
I have loved working out my thoughts on this electronic page. I have loved using my spiritual gifts in this venue. I have loved unique worship of God. I have loved meeting so many of you in this way.
I don’t want to take a break, but I must.
Four days after my boyfriend left for college, we got back together.
“Did you find anyone else to date?”, I questioned him on the phone. (We had talked every night).
“No, have you?”, he responded.
“Then let’s just keep dating.”
And we have ever since that day 20 years ago.
I don’t know if God will allow me to return to blogging or not, but I hope you and I can still be friends.
Signing off with tears,
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